The Power of Reframing: How to Shift Your Mindset About Aging

"We're Not Getting Any Younger," that is a sad idiom depicted in the song by Color Theory. People don’t like to think about aging, even though it’s a natural and unavoidable process for human bodies. So relatable. Women are particularly vulnerable when it comes to aging, as it’s intertwined with societal expectations, rules, and traditions that are imposed on women even more than they are usually imposed on men.

It is up to each woman, though, to join the vicious circle of pleasing other people, trying to meet their expectations, then experiencing frustration, self-doubts, and anxiety as a consequence of that choice. Or she can transform the whole narrative about her aging to reframe her mindset towards a purposeful life, self-confidence, and joy.

‍Why Reframing Matters

We could agree that mindset, as a set of our beliefs and attitudes, has an influential power over the actions we take. Consciously reframing is a working strategy for changing an undesired mindset to something more suitable.

To put it simply, instead of focusing on what such a woman loses, she can focus on what she is gaining. With aging, we gain many bonuses in our lives, from practical experience and applied wisdom to career expertise and a deeper understanding of oneself, as well as a meta position and invulnerability to faux desires.

‍How to Shift Your Mindset About Aging

Below are some actual working pieces of advice for every woman concerned with aging.

1. Celebrate the Strengths of Maturity

Rather than thinking about physical changes, embrace your new mindfulness, as well as your emotional and intellectual growth. Remind yourself how much you have changed — literally grown — since you were 20, 30, or 40 years old! That naivety of youth is successfully gone, and now you are more stable; you know exactly what you want to do with your life, as well as the things and people you admire, while being clear about the things and people you do not want in your life.

Tip #1: Start a journal of lessons learned; apply the practice from project management named “retrospective” to your life, aiming to look over completed work and find ways to improve. Focus more on achievements, as that helps create positive connotations. Besides, we women tend to suffer from imposter syndrome, so by highlighting our successes, we help ourselves regain confidence.  

2. Redefine Beauty on Your Own Terms

Beauty is a controversial topic; people often argue about what is attractive and what is not. Instead of running after the slipping idea of physical attractive attributes, consider a much more promising strategy: developing character traits, intelligence, and self love.

Tip #2: As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so become such a beholder; see your own beauty and be sure that you are beautiful at all times. Then no one will be able to take it from you. 

3. Shift from Comparison to Inspiration

We tend to compare ourselves with other people, usually not in our favor. It is easy to lose ourselves in the sea of other people’s stunning accomplishments, which they share over social media in abundance! And then we sigh over our lost opportunities, lost time, lost youth, yada-yada. Instead, you could look at it differently, you could get inspired by other people and realize that each stage of life offers unique opportunities.

Tip #3: Find several role models who are thriving in their later years. Be it an artisan of 70+, a sportswoman of 60+, or someone starting a new business at 50+. Keep getting inspiration from them, seeing that consistency is key.  

4. Challenge Age-Related Stereotypes

There are plenty of sexist stereotypes related to aging women, unfortunately. For example, that a woman after 30 is not young anymore; that a woman should be hiding any signs of aging, should get her gray hair tinted, and get her legs carefully covered (no shorts!). A woman over 40 has a much narrower selection of job vacancies and can be constantly reminded that she matters less; she becomes “invisible” and not in a good way.

Tip #4: Defy aging stereotypes; surround yourself with interesting, bright women; work on your own level of vitality and energy. Also, do wear any garments or hair color that make you happy!

5. Embrace Change as a Catalyst for Growth

We, as humanity, live in times when changes occur extremely swiftly. Besides those background global and city-level changes, nearly every woman over 50 has her own local news, such as children growing up and leaving their ancestral home, losing a job, getting a divorce, and experiencing some worrying changes in health.

Reframing those shaking changes as a new beginning can help to regain ground under one’s feet and throw a bridge to a new phase of life with new accomplishments.

Tip #5: Think of a transformation that may attract your interest. What has always been your dream? What have you put aside for too long? That could be a new hobby, a career shift, or a new functional order in your home. The only criterion is that it should give you joy in living; it should refill you with vitality.

6. Build a Supportive Community

Fundamental life changes combined with aging are not something that we can easily carry on our own. You don’t have to go through an aging crisis alone. Try to join some women's communities, and try to grow and retain supportive, loving female friends of similar age.

Tip #6: A strong social network is definitely an asset, and if you happen to be in a location where you feel alienated, you should find other people online or offline with whom you could share the unbearable lightness of being.

The Unique Power of Women and Aging

Aging is not an ending, it is a powerful continuation of beautiful processes that give our lives meaning. Another year, another year - each new year gives us an opportunity to shine, to become a better version of ourselves, to inspire and get inspired.

Let's embrace aging and show other women the beauty of a mindful and mature life.

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