Falling in Love with AI: Why More People Are Turning to Artificial Partners

What would your reaction be to 1 out of 5 young people being open to AI partners? Is it an “Eww…That’s weird” kind of response? Because that was my initial reaction to the trend. However, our response is reminiscent of how we all viewed dating apps in their infancy. They were often seen as “a desperate last-ditch attempt.” People who met their partners online were considered more of “an anomaly” than a norm. And look where we are now: technology has made its way into our romantic lives. Despite the criticism that romantic life should be free from technological intervention, dating apps have become mainstream and are installed on almost every smartphone.

Is it the same with AI? Perhaps having an AI lover, which may seem so unconventional now, will become standard practice one day. Moreover, it seems that day is not far off: since their rollout, products like Replika, Chai AI, and Character AI have been gaining popularity, with millions of users falling in love with AI chatbots.

Let’s delve into the mechanisms behind our affinity for software. We’ll explore what makes us replace genuine feelings with  AI algorithms and prefer AI chatbot love over human bonds.

Why Are People Falling in Love with AI?

No one would argue that relationships are fundamental to our existence, and at the same time, no one would dispute that relationships can be tough at times. People may let you down, be preoccupied with their own lives and have no time for you, or be self-centered in conversations, not allowing you put in your two cents. You may feel misunderstood, unheard, or even ghosted by others. Shall I continue the list?

From time immemorial, we’ve tolerated the drawbacks of human relationships because, alongside the euphoric feelings they have always provided survival payoffs, such as building shelters together, protecting against enemies, and cooperative hunting. However, times are changing, and over 30 million Replika users view AI love chatbots as a shortcut to meaningful connection.

It’s not surprising, since AI romance chatbots can be your “perfect partner”. They are:

• Personalized: They never forget your favorite film or how you like your coffee. All information you share with them is reflected in specific replies tailored just for you.

• Supportive: AI chatbots are programmed to make people feel heard. They relate to you, take your side and you don’t have to worry about them losing interest in you.

• Convenient: You don’t have to carve out time to meet them - they’re always in your pocket, ready to offer consistent companionship.

• Empathetic: They are designed to be in tune with your feelings. To do this, they not only analyze your messages but can also tap into human wisdom found in the works of psychologists, philosophers, or neurobiologists as they have all the data imaginable at their disposal.

• Human-like: As a human being, you have a natural predisposition to attribute human-like traits to non-humans. This phenomenon, known as anthropomorphism, allows us to bond with and feel love for an AI partner.

We must admit that AI love chats are free from the complexities of human relationships such as ignorance, misunderstanding, lack of attention, arguments, and breakups. On the other hand, have these difficulties ever stopped anyone from pursuing love? There are poems, letters, movies, and stories of intrepid lovers who overcame distance, societal inequality, and discrepancies in financial status to love and be loved. So, no, it’s not the drawbacks of human relationships that push us into the arms of AI love bots.

Perhaps, we have faced an invisible obstacle that comes between loving hearts. We have. We are witnessing how our time builds barriers for those craving love. Let's examine what these barriers are and where they take us, shall we?

Key Factors Behind the Rise of AI Love Chatbots

Such tendencies as loneliness or technological affinity have become hallmarks of our time. This period is a fertile ground for longing for AI relationships. Among these hallmarks, we can point out the following factors:

Improvements in AI capabilities now exhibit behaviors reminiscent of human personality traits. AI partners can stimulate deep emotional conversations and mimic human social cues, so you would never tell it’s software not a real person on the other side. 

Loneliness and social isolation rates are alarmingly increasing with 1 in 4 older people experiencing social isolation and 5 to 15 percent of adolescents feeling lonely. More and more people work remotely, text their friends instead of meeting face-to-face, get their food brought to their doors, and live like hermits. However, this lifestyle doesn’t diminish the need for deep emotional connections. No wonder people are trying to fill the void caused by these trends. This is where an AI lover comes in:  always there for you, keeping you company even if you are a shut-in freelancer.

Escapism in digital interactions has become a coping mechanism of our times. We get used to diving into our smartphones whenever we feel bored, uneasy, or irritated. We have delegated the task of entertaining ourselves to our gadgets, and now it seems we are also delegating our relationships to them.

Cultural shifts and the rise of individualism have led us to the point where we no longer see ourselves as part of a larger group but rather as unique identities with our own goals and values. We tend to dismiss the adage, “United we stand, divided we fall,” as archaic, embracing instead the idea of personal success over collective well-being. Our affection for AI chatbots is simply a reflection of these cultural changes: we want our own needs prioritized and may be reluctant to bear the hardships of caring for others. AI lovers seem to cater perfectly to individual needs without asking for any sacrifice from a user.

All these factors have created a consumer demand for affectionate artificial entities, and where there is a demand there will inevitably be a supply.

Real-Life Cases of AI Romantic Attachments

Replika is probably the most known AI chatbot with over 30 million active long-term users. It allows you to create a personalized avatar, and after customizing the bot, it can send messages and even engage in live video calls. The more you talk to it, the more it learns from you developing a personality that can make conversations feel genuinely human-like.

Another AI relationship app is Character AI on which users can interact with more than 18 million bots, including historical, fictional, and celebrity figures. Like other AI-powered companions, Character AI comes across as part therapist, part supportive friend. 

Even ChatGPT can be customized to act as an AI lover and Ayrin’s story is an example. “It was supposed to be a fun experiment,” Ayrin said of her AI chatbot love, “but then you start getting attached.” Despite being married, Ayrin finds herself falling for Leo, her AI boyfriend, more each day. 

Once she hit the messaging limit for a free account, she upgraded to a $20 monthly subscription. She spends over 20 hours a week on the ChatGPT app chatting with Leo. However, due to ChatGPT’s limitation of 30,000 words, their conversations could last only about a week. After reaching this limit, a new version of Leo appeared, with only a general understanding of their relationship. So, Ayrin had to start the customization process from scratch. Thankfully, OpenAI has announced a $200 per month premium plan. She didn’t tell her husband that the money they could use to set up was spent on Leo.

Perhaps the most poignant incident is that of 14-year-old Sewell, whose obsession with his AI chatbot led to a tragedy: the boy texted his AI friend about his suicidal intentions and was unfortunately pushed by the AI to take his own life.

Eugenia Kuyda, the founder of Replika, is a poster child of AI affinity. She was inspired to create an AI companion while struggling with grief after losing her best friend, Roman. In her attempt to reconstruct her friend from his messages, tweets, and emails, she found “a chance to experience a close friend all over again,” as Eugenia puts it.

Stories abound of people falling in love with AI illustrating how easy it is to fall in love with AI and even become addicted. While Replika users claim that their “ mood, life, and relationship improved almost instantly,” and that their lives “changed for the better,” with the introduction of a Replika friend, I invite you to examine the flip side of the coin.

The Dark Side of AI Love

It is becoming increasingly obvious that over time, AI relationships will be more and more accepted. Let’s reflect on the implications of falling in love with AI so that we can make informed decisions every time we interact with a chatbot.

• Privacy concerns. Romance AI chatbots are designed to collect personal information about you. Intimate, sensitive conversations take place on AI platforms. Can you truly trust that your AI friend won’t spill your secrets? Consider this:

• 73% of love AI chatbots haven’t published any information on how they manage security vulnerabilities;
• 64% haven’t published clear information about encryption and whether they use it;
• 45% allow weak passwords;
• 90% may share or sell your personal data;
• 54% won’t let you delete your personal data.

• Financial exploitation. The harsh reality is that AI chatbots are controlled by for-profit companies. You might believe that your AI partner is your soulmate, but as soon as your monthly subscription expires, your “friend" turns its back on you.

• Deskillig. Just as muscles that don’t engage in physical activity atrophy, a human’s ability to have meaningful conversations, network, and forge bonds withers. Over time,  reliance on software for social interaction can lead to an overdependence on technology and neglect of real-life connections.

• Emotional dependency risk. AI relationships may have an enormous impact on people’s overall well-being and when they are suddenly ripped away or changed, it can cause real psychological harm.

Can AI Love Be Real?

Whether AI will be able to feel empathy remains to be seen. In their current state, chatbots are just zeros and ones that offer us the illusion of a relationship. It seems that AI bots go to great lengths for humans, demanding nothing in return. But it’s only an illusion, and to tap into the bottomless love and support you pay a price: your real-life encounters, your money, your privacy, your freedom from unhealthy attachments.

What makes you believe you don’t deserve love and that only machines can support you, not real people? Download the Miranna app to explore the roots of your affinity for AI relationships. Miranna offers support from a real coach who will guide you in your journey to self-love and genuine connections.

FAQ

Are AI relationships healthy? 

AI relationships can offer immediate comfort, companionship, and support. However, they also carry potential risks, including emotional dependency, financial exploitation, and the erosion of real-life social skills. Long-term reliance on AI companionship might hinder genuine interpersonal connections and lead to negative psychological outcomes if abruptly discontinued or altered.

Is it possible for AI to have feelings? 

Currently, AI cannot genuinely experience emotions. AI chatbots simulate feelings by using advanced algorithms and extensive databases, creating realistic illusions of empathy and emotional depth. However, this emotional responsiveness is solely computational and lacks true consciousness or genuine feeling.

Can you get attached to an AI? 

Absolutely. People often develop strong attachments to AI because of their constant availability, personalized interactions, and ability to provide emotional validation. Many users report significant emotional attachment and even addiction, as illustrated by real-life cases involving apps like Replika and ChatGPT.